I can’t tell you what my brother spray painted on this rock years ago, it’s not really appropriate.
I went out walking trying to come up with an idea for a photo. I ran into Nate’s widow and stopped to talk for a while. We talked about Nate and cancer and things. It’s amazing just how much cancer changes things and not just temporarily. The effects go on long after the disease passes. And people say that after a loss that things will get better with time. In some ways that may be so, but it often doesn’t feel any better for a long time. After Matt died I couldn’t bring myself to go the the bike shop for months. I still miss him but I’m not sure that I would say that the fact that I don’t hurt every day or as acutely really makes it better, just different.
I hope that I have learned some things and that I’ve learned to be better to people and be more mindful of the people around me. Whether that is the case or not, cancer sucks.
I’m grateful that I got the chance to have a talk with a friend that I don’t see as much as I used to. By the time I got to where I could see the tip of suicide rock, it was getting too dark for a good picture. Though the quality of the picture may have suffered, I think that the time spent talking to a friend about Nate and life and things was way more valuable than getting a nicer picture for the day.